At a loss for words..

I found this in a peronal blog I had been keeping. It was written March 14, 2008..

After a surprising (yet refreshing) night filled with good people, laughter, and later mind-blowing sex- I have come to a conclusion. I feel I have managed to blind myself from the actual genuine things present in my life. And that then leads me to the question of whether or not I had begun to be comfortable with the constant headaches and heartaches. And almost expected them at the start of any new relationship of mine. Within the first 2 weeks of living in Manhattan I met a truly amazing person. And sometimes it takes time before you realize the true value of those “amazing” things. You just hope by the time you realize- that “thing,” it isn’t gone. Luckily, I have found that the things that really mean something to you and vice versa- never go that far away. All this time, while I had thought I found my perfect match, the 1 person since August, I could see myself with. He was not only beautiful, but he was goal-oriented, mature, responsible, fun- everything you could possibly want. However, I would later find out weak and unavailable. And when you meet someone so amazing, you don’t want to really focus on his or her flaws. But certain flaws can really affect your relationship with them in a huge way. It’s like; you can have a beautiful wedding cake. Everyone will walk by it and be in awe and comment/compliment on how perfect it is and how lucky you are. But if you find out that the cake was made with salt rather than sugar- it’s hard to see it as such a beautiful cake anymore. So I have spent my days trying to analyze and rationalize my situation and complaining how nothing can ever be simple for me. But what I realized last night was that, I am possibly so used to “overly baggage’d” situations that I dismiss ones that are simple and comforting. But after experiencing and learning what I have throughout the past year, my tolerance for bullshit has decreased immensely. And I feel that can only be a positive thing. I have never been happier than I am at this very moment. Simply, thank you.

My motive for sharing personal thoughts/experiences is to hopefully offer some sort of position for people to relate to.