I should really be packing up my apartment instead of bumming on the couch. I just have no energy to do anything. Everything seems like a huge task to me. I wish I'd stop acting like a baby. Because I really do have many good things happening for me right now. I'm just still so sad. Functional, but terribly sad. It's only been a little over a week and it's destroying me. I think I have a tendency to get stuck on things; maybe they're habits. Almost treat anything surrounding me like a drug. I suppose that would be called an addictive personality? But what's scary is that I recognize it, just can't kick it. I'm fucking losing it- want to jump out of my fucking skin. And I ate too much today. Did you ever listen to music so much, day in and day out- and wait for yourself to get sick of it, but you never do? Every single one of Fiona Apple's albums are the soundtrack(s) to my life. However, that may be for other weird reasons. Everything about David is right there out in the open for me to know. And I honestly think that makes things harder and worse. Maybe a lot of things are better left unsaid & unknown? Because when you care too much about something you find out things you don't want to know. I always say, if I could have 1 magical power it would be to see into the future or read peoples minds so that I could adjust my life and doings to their best. But I guess that would fall into the same concept that I would see what I wouldn't want to see. I don't know man, it's tough. For now this will sum it up..
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